Façade by DaphneRene
by Naughty or Nice Contest
Summary: For years, Bella Swan has both harbored and suppressed certain feeling and emotions from resurfacing in her life. When she meets someone she thinks could be the one, how will she manage to keep up the façade she so carefully constructed?


**Contest entry for the Naughty or Nice Twilight Christmas Contest**

 **Title:** Façade

 **Pairing:** Edward &Bella

 **Rating:** M

 **Word Count:** 14,813

 **Summary:** For years, Bella Swan has both harbored and suppressed certain feeling and emotions from resurfacing in her life. When she meets someone she thinks could be the one, how will she manage to keep up the façade she so carefully constructed?

 **Disclaimer:** Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

 **Façade**

 _ **9-10-01 9:08 pm**_

 _I crossed my arms over my chest and stared up at my mom. She knew I wanted to talk to Daddy, but she kept on babbling. I didn't even know what she was talking about, the trashcans or something._

 _She looked down at me and smiled. "I think someone wants to talk to you?" she said into the receiver and then handed me the kitchen phone._

" _Hi, Daddy." I only called him that when my friends weren't around since I didn't want to sound like a little kid._

" _Hello, Bells, are you being good?"_

" _Always."_

 _He sighed and sounded tired. "Listen, honey, I'm going to work a few extra days, but I will be off and home in plenty of time for your birthday."_

" _Okay." I slowly twirled the kitchen phone cord around me. "Are we still going to Forks?" We lived in New York City, but my parents grew up in this small town in Washington._

" _Yes, I promised you, and you know what they say about your old man…"_

" _Charlie Swan always keeps his promises."I finished for him, and I wished he was here so I could give him a hug. Even if his mustache tickled my cheek, I loved to hug him. "I can't wait."_

" _I can't believe you're going to be nine." I giggled because I knew what was coming next. "You're supposed to stop growing."_

" _I know." I twirled the rest of the cord around me. "Mom says we can bring cookies down to your station tomorrow after I get out of school."_

" _That sounds really nice." He cleared his throat. "Seth will be here," he teased._

" _Dad!" My face felt as warm as my heating blanket. "Can he hear you?" I whispered into the phone._

" _Don't worry Kiddo; your secret is safe with me." Dad's new firefighter recruit is so cute. Mom says I have a crush. "I'm just teasing you. I need to go Bells. I'll see you soon. I can't wait for the cookies, tomorrow."_

" _Night, Daddy, I love you."_

" _I love you more, Bells. Night, Kiddo."_

 _I stood on my tiptoes and hung up the phone. "Mom, I need you."_

 _She came around the corner. "You always get that phone cord tangled around you." She pulled the phone off the hook and spun me around._

" _Woah, I'm dizzy." I wobbled a bit._

 _She tapped my nose. "You're silly girl."_

" _What kind of cookies are we going to make?" I asked my mom._

" _What kind do you want to make?" Mom wasn't the best cook, but she was a good baker and helped me make all kinds of cookies._

" _Hmmm." I tapped my chin. "How about oatmeal chocolate chip."_

" _No raisins?"_

" _Yuck, I don't like raisins."_

" _Okay, fine. Your dad likes chocolate chips, too." She groaned._

" _I'm sorry," I scrunched up my nose, "I just don't like raisins."_

" _I know my Isabella." She pulled me into a hug. "It's getting late. Off to bed with you. If we're going to make cookies for your dad, we need to get up early and get the dough made so we can bake them right after school and take them down to the firehouse."_

" _Okay," I squeezed her back, "I love you, Mom."_

" _I love you more, Kiddo." She used Dad's nickname for me. It almost made it like he was here with us._

 **-Façade-**

 _ **Sixteen plus years later**_

"Did you see the gift I brought you?" Kate asks as she reviews the client list for today.

"Yeah, thanks." I give her a tight smile.

"Seriously, Bella, you don't like firefighters." She gives me the gaping mouth bass face. "I thought you were kidding the other night."

"Seriously, I have all the respect in the world for them, but I would _never_ date one."

"Why?" Kate, and now Tanya ask as she walks in with a stack of towels in her hand.

That's a good question, but one I'm not willing to truly answer. "Well, one reason is because they're always unfaithful." Thankfully, my lying abilities have improved over the years.

Kate gives me a bitch brow. "Maybe, but have you seen that calendar." She pretends to faint. "There's nothing wrong with having a fling. Nobody says you have to marry one."

"Right now the last thing I want to do is get married." Tanya sets down the stack of towels. "All I want for Christmas is to do the white sheet shuffle with a hot, buff, and dirty firefighter." She fans herself with one of the client lists. "I was walking home the other day, and one of them was in the truck with some soot on his face." She looks at Kate who is rapt in her story. "His hair all tousled. He. Was. So. Hot." She takes one of the towels and pretends she's wiping sweat from her brow. "I went home and put my faithful Rabbit to good use."

"You are so bad." Thankfully, we're not open yet; the clients don't need to hear her tales of a single-New-York-girl getting herself off with images of the sooty, tousled-haired firefighters.

"It's so funny how easily you blush. If I didn't know better I'd say you were virginal," Kate teases me.

 _Sometimes that stupid blush is such a pain._

"Please tell me that you allow yourself a little self-love." Tanya gives me a deadpan look. "I mean you haven't been dating anyone for a while."

I look between her and Kate. "Come you guys, of course, I do." I can feel myself flush again. _Damn it_. "I mean what single-New-York-girl doesn't have a Rabbit…or seven around for those lonely nights."

Tanya pushes my arm, teasingly. "That a girl, Bella, I knew you were one of us."

"Ladies, if you're done discussing the best vibrator on the market." Victoria, our red-haired, dragon-lady bitchy boss, interrupts our gossip gaggle. "We need to go over the client list for today. We have quite a few VIPs coming in." She points towards the hall. "Let's take our quorum to the conference room and review the specifics." She starts to walk towards the conference room, but turns back and looks at us. "Besides, everyone knows the pink, Rabbit egg vibrator is the best." She looks Kate up and down. "Well, since you're a fan of the fire boys in red, maybe you prefer the red-hot egg Rabbit adorned in flames with the built-in heater." She flips her hair and clicks down the corridor in her red kitten heels.

"That wasn't awkward at all." Kate frowns at us and follows Victoria.

Tanya grabs my arm. "Hurry let's get this meeting over with, I need to do some shopping lunch." She pulls me towards the conference room. "I have to get me one of those red-hot egg vibrators."

After locking the door to the Manhattan Four Season's Spa where we all work, Tanya and I giggle our way to the conference room. Even though Dragon Lady is our boss, I love my job, and she's not _that_ awful. However, I wish she would move on to some other role. She's been in the spa manager for two years, and that's usually around the time they rotate people to a new role. I'd love a shot as manager of this spa.

"By the way, we're getting drinks tonight," Tanya whispers as we stroll into the room under the stare of Dragon Lady. "Alice is coming. You'll come, right?"

I give her a confirming nod and sit to take Victoria's wrath. She seems to be in a worse mood than normal and with her catching us messing around, she's sure to give us hell. Oh well, at least we'll get to unwind at the bar tonight with a cocktail or seven.

 **-Façade-**

"This place is interesting," Kate says as she surveys the Irish pub that Tanya insists is the best place to find cute guys.

"It looks like a Buddy the Elf threw up Christmas, around here," Alice picks off a piece of tinsel that floated onto her designer sweater.

Alice is always dressed to the nines. She's the personal shopping concierge for the Four Seasons. We all work closely together. Many people go to the spa and ask Alice to come show them clothes for a night out in NYC. She'll even give us a commission if we refer a client and they spend over a certain amount.

"Stop complaining." Tanya sidles up to the bar and orders us a round of Cosmos. "And look at the table at in the corner."

All at once, we turn and look at the four guys in a big corner booth. They're all attractive, but the one on the end catches my eye. He has tousled reddish, blondish, brownish (if that's a color) hair. I can't decide if he styled it that way or just rolled out of bed and ran his fingers through it. I'll tell you this; I'd like to be running my fingers through it. Normally, I go for blond guys—in my experience they tend to flock to my brunette locks—but I'd for sure make an exception for him.

"I call the hottie with the honey blonde hair and light blue eyes," Alice stakes her claims.

"Mr. Sex Hair is mine." Tanya licks her lips. "Oh yeah, I'm going to have a good time running my hands through it."

 _Oh well_ , missed my chance on that. I look at Kate and shrug like it's her call.

"The blond with the honey eyes I wouldn't mind taking home for the rest of my life." Kate bites her lip. "I'm so sick of the single game. I just want to find a keeper for once." She scoffs. "I got another dick pick today from some guy I've been emailing on Match.

Tanya clicks her tongue. "I'm at the point where I'm going to update my bio. Hello, my name is Tanya. SWF, disease free. I don't want to see a pick of your dick. I don't want to run a triathlon. I want to have fun, and I won't be a bitch if you're cool. I prefer a faithful, cute dog versus a randy Tomcat. Hit me up if we're on the same page." We laugh our asses off.

Yay, sloppy fourths for me. "Guess I'll take the guy who looks like the most attractive used car salesman ever." He's cute, but he has that slick look to him and dark hair, not my type at all. Not a big deal, maybe the new vibrator we got at lunch will get a workout tonight. I let the fact that Tanya called the green-eyed hottie roll off my back. On the bright side, he's one of those guys who might be too good looking. The last thing I need is a guy who is more beautiful than me. Tanya can compete with a Victoria's Secret model, so it's probably for the best.

"They're looking over here." Tanya does a little happy dance. _Obvious much?_ "Don't look now, but the one who keeps looking at Ali is heading over here." She sets her laser sites on Mr. I-just-fucked-your-brains-out-hair.

"Hello, ladies." Baby Blue Eyes keeps his gaze focused on Ali. "My friends and I wondered if you'd like to join us at our table. Next round is on me." He takes Ali's hand. "I'm Jasper by the way." He somehow kisses her hand and doesn't come off as a douche.

"That'd be lovely," Kate says as Jasper and Ali stare at one another. "I'm Kate by the way." She points each of us out. "Bella, Tanya, and Ali."

He shakes each of our hands but again kisses Ali's. "Beautiful Ali. Is that short for anything?"

"Alice," she giggles.

We all stare, dumbfounded. Alice Brandon is not a giggler.

Following Jasper, we make our way to the table and introductions are made. My guy is Alec, not Alex, but Alec. _Interesting_. He does have nice blue eyes, but they're nothing like green-eyes. From across the room, I could tell his eyes were lighter, but up close, holy-hell they are the clearest green eyes I've ever seen. And I didn't know it was possible, but he's even better looking close up. _Edward._ I test his name in my head. As someone that likes to read turn of the century novels, I actually love that name. Tanya is a lucky bitch.

Their booth is a bit crowded, so I end up sitting at the end with Alec and Edward on each side of me. Tanya is doing her best at flashing Edward her substantial cleavage, trying to engage him in some chitchat. He does participate, but he seems more focused on my conversation with Alec.

I wasn't too far off with Alec's profession, he's in advertising. He's the _deal closer_ so he brags. A Madman, kind of like the white-collar version of a used car salesman.

"Here you go." The irritated server drops off tequila shots and various varieties of beers on the table. I grab a lighter blend hoping it's a wheat beer. I take a sip, _score!_

"I hate beer," Tanya announces to the waitress, who doesn't give an Irish pub shite. "Can you get me a Cosmo to chase this shot with?"

"Nice. Vodka and tequila," Edward comments.

I give him a smile for voicing my thoughts.

"Make that two." Alice raises her arm.

"Three," Kate chimes in.

The server looks at me. "I'm good with the beer."

Jasper passes out limes and holds up his shot. "To beautiful women, Christmas, and New York City."

We all hum our cheers and take the shot. As I'm sucking the lime like it's a hockey mouth guard, Edward smiles at me with this crooked smile and _boom_ , there goes the panties. Wait, I think my ovaries might have exploded, too.

Damn, he's deadly.

"You like beer?" Edward asks.

I shrug. "Some of them; wheat beer is my favorite." I take a sip of the draft pint in front of me.

"Will you marry me?" he asks, and it's all I can do not to spray my drink all over everyone at the table.

"That depends?"

"On what?"

"I don't even know what you do for a living, if you have a criminal background, if you're as faithful as a golden retriever or as fastidious as a tomcat." I take some pointers from Tanya's proposed dating profile. I take another sip of my beer, my eyes staying locked with his. "Lots of things."

"I work for the city." He looks at Alec. "In a rapid response role, I'm very loyal, and have never been arrested."

Tanya looks so pissed. I think she might start flashing her tatas in Girl's-Gone-Wild style at this point. However, Alec looks like a pig in shit that Edward—clearly, the hottest guy here—seems to favor brunettes tonight, because now he's looking at Tanya as if she's the blue plate special at the diner down the street.

He and Alec lock eyes. Some kind agreement or understanding flows between them. If I were a betting woman, I'd say that they just divided up Tanya and me.

"That all sounds great, but how do I know if we're compatible," I tease.

"I guess you're just going to have to get to know me then. One thing is for sure, we both have a mutual love of beer," his eyes move down to my empty shot glass, "and tequila."

"What makes you think I love tequila?" Full sassy Bella has entered the building. "Maybe I was just enlightening blue eyes down there and doing a shot so I wouldn't feel left out." He's shaking his head as I'm talking. "What?"

"No way." His fingers tap on the table next to my used lime. It doesn't go unrecognized how long his fingers are and in general, has larger hands. _And you know what they say about guys with long fingers and big hands_ …"You were like a pro with that lime. This ain't your first tequila rodeo."

I give him my secret grin and sip my beer. There's still a bit of a head on it, and the foam gets on my lip. I stick the tip of my tongue out and wipe it. _Score_. Edward's jaw is slack, his eyes rapt by my movements. I give him a look, so he knows I caught that he just adjusted himself under the table. I'm feeling like a rock star, until Tanya digs her claws in my arm and announces, "I have to go to the bathroom, and Bella is going with me."

Alice gives me a look of concern. I wave her off. If I can handle pissed rich clients, sometimes even problematic royalty, I can handle Tanya.

The closer we got to the bathroom the tighter her grip becomes on my arm. "Will you stop it," I rip my arm away. "You're hurting me."

"What the hell was that," she spats at me as we walk into the bathroom.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I called him." She puts her hands on her hips. "He's mine."

"Whatever, fine you can have him. I'm over tonight anyway." I throw my hands up. "Alice and Kate look like they've found the men of their dreams and now you're mad at me." I go in the stall; since I'm in the bathroom, I might as well break the seal. "I'm going to pee, and then I'm going home. The only one getting lucky with me tonight is my new Rabbit."

Tanya is standing by the sink, arms crossed in front of her chest, and a half-remorseful look on her face. I ignore her and wash my hands. It's when I'm touching up my make up that she starts.

"Look, I'm sorry." She rubs her forehead. "It's just that I have a feeling about this guy." She clasps her hands into a pleading posse. "And I think you and that Alec guy look cute together. He does have really pretty blue eyes."

I nod agreeing. They're not as pretty as that Jasper guy Alice seems to be promising her first-born too, but yes, they're pretty.

"Don't worry about it." I give her one of those hugs where you barely touch someone. A fake hug as Alice calls it. "I'm cool. And for the record, I was just making conversation."

"I'm sorry." I shrug off her worry. She looks about as remorseful as Renee's cat when he steals food off my plate. "I'll see you Sunday at work, yeah?" She licks her lips like I did with the beer foam. "And I'll give you all the deets on how hot the sex was with this guy."

"Yeah, sure." _Can't wait to hear._

We walk back to the table. Alec and Edward seem to be in a heated discussion, while Alice, Jasper, Kate, and Garrett all seem cozy. _Good for them_. About 0.5% of me feels bad for leaving Alec as the seventh wheel, but I'm sure by the time I get ten steps from the table I'll get over it.

"Night, ya'll," I say as I channel Reese Witherspoon's character from Sweet Home Alabama. "I have a ton of Christmas shopping to do tomorrow, so I'm going to call it a night." Not really, but I'm not sharing what's on my docket the next few days. That's just for me and a promise I made a long time ago.

Alice tears her gaze away from Jasper. _Are you okay?_ Her eyes ask. I nod. _Yeah, peachy._ I throw the table a wanton smile, collect my purse, and walk away with an extra sway to my hips.

I get two steps from the front door when I hear him. "Wait, I'll share a ride with you." If his velvety voice hadn't already imprinted on my brain, I would have thought it was Alec, but no, that voice belongs to Edward.

After pausing for two seconds, I keep walking. I don't need Tanya pissed at me. She is a decent friend—she's no Alice mind you, but we work together, and the last thing I need is a riff between us. "Who says I want to share a ride?" I walk out into the frigid night at a record pace

"Because, I'm paying." He pulls up his app.

Curious what ride service he uses I look down at his phone. Something inside of me warms when I see the same ride service I use. They're fast, they drop you off at the corners instead of a specific address, and best of all, they're cheaper. I think of my little project in Washington, and every penny saved counts.

He has designer clothes, but nothing about him screams wealthy or presumptuous. With his eyes downcast, I notice how unbelievably long his eyelashes are. He really is beautiful.

"No, we can split the fare." I pull up my app, punch in the ride code, and state I want to split the fare. The warmth of him next to me in the cold night hits me to the bone. The sexual tension crackles between us. Like an animal hypnotized by car lights, I'm locked in his gaze, when the Prius pulls up and bursts our bubble.

He opens the door for me. "After you."

"Thank you," I murmur.

"Where to?" the driver turns and looks at us.

Edward holds up one of those long fingers. "Just keep going. I'll give the address in one second." He leans in and whispers, "Have a beer with me?" The breath on my neck sends a delicious shiver through my body.

I memorize his handsome face and nod. "Okay." His sweet minty breath thaws my nose.

He runs the back of his pointer finger down my cheek. "Thank you." In the rearview mirror, he makes eye contact with the irritated driver. "To the Plaza, please."

 _The Plaza? That's unexpected._

 **-Façade-**

"Do you come here a lot?" I ask him as we walk into the iconic hotel.

"Sometimes." With his arm wrapped around me, I feel him shrug.

We sit down and the waitress who hasn't taken her eyes off Edward since we came in saunters over. "What can I get you?" she asks Edward ignoring me.

He tips his head towards me. "Please ask the lady first."

Her head bristles back, and she looks at me. "What can I get you?"

 _Game on._ I grab Edward's hand and lower my voice. "Honey, how about a round of tequila shots for down here and then we take this party upstairs, and I let you it lick every delicious drop off me."

Edward's eyes gleam. "That sounds like a plan." He keeps his gaze trained on me, but is clearly talking to our server. "Two shots of Patron Silver and one wheat beer." He winks at me. "We can share."

She looks at him and tries to get his attention, but he doesn't take his eyes off me. She gawks at him, and he finally gives her a glance. "Do you need me to repeat the order?"

"No." She snaps her order book shut and stomps off.

"You keeping an eye on her?" I barely hear him since he's tickling my hand and distracting me.

I snicker. "Yes, I won't let her do anything to our drinks." In record time—probably because I'm watching her like a hawk—she wordlessly sets down our drinks.

"Thanks," Edward dismisses her.

"Cheers." We both hold up our shots, clink glasses, and slam them down.

I suck the lime in my mouth like I did at the bar and Edward snickers. His eyes seem to gloss over.

"Are you drunk?" I take a big swig of our beer and inspect his face. His cheeks are flushed, his pupils hooded and dilated.

"I'm feeling my alcohol, but I'm something else."

I trail my hand down my neck, over my décolleté, and circle my pointer finger over the swell of my breast. "What exactly are you feeling?"

"Lust. Want." He eyes my finger. "An overwhelming desire to be your finger."

I lean in, so our lips are only a few inches from each other. "Remember what I said to the waitress earlier?" His head nods and his lids droop to half mask. "I wasn't kidding. Edward you big stud," I mimic Goose's wife from Top Gun. "Take me upstairs and lick tequila off my body or lose me forever."

With Buzz Lightyear speed, he whips out his wallet and shoves some money into my hand. "You get the tequila. I'll go get the room."

I watch his impressive backside as he speeds to the front desk. I lift my arm, and just because I want to annoy our server, I snap my finger to motion her over.

With a small bottle of tequila, some limes, and a few bottles of imported beer, I make my way to Edward who's waiting for me in the lobby leading to the elevators. I grab his shirt and look up at him.

"What you got there?" He traces my lips.

"Some supplies." I slip my hand under his shirt and trail my hand over the planes of his abs. _Jesus_ ; I can't wait to rip off his shirt. "For Operation Lick Tequila off the girl you picked up at the bar tonight."

He frowns. I frown. "It's not like that…I really like you, Bella."

A small crack forms in the steel cage protecting my heart. "I like you, too." But what I really like is to keep it real. "That doesn't mean I'm not excited about the prospect of you licking tequila off my body." He smiles down at me. I spy a bag clutched in his hand. "What do you have there?"

"Some supplies." He gives me a wicked grin.

I'm glad we're on the same page, and I'd bet good money there's some condoms in that bag. Please let them be of the larger variety.

 **-Façade-**

The girls were right, there's nothing like the real thing. Yes, my vibrator is nice, but Edward's warmth, the weight of him pushing me against the wall of the elevator, the way his rough hands claw at me like I'm the only person in this world he wants to touch ever. _Unf._

He trails kisses down my neck. "God, you smell so good. Feel so good."

"So good." His few day stubble tickles my neck and I know tomorrow I'm going to be itchy and red. _Totally worth it._

The elevator dings to alert us that we are stopping. He pulls away and helps me adjust my sweater. I notice the security camera and say a little prayer he chose the Plaza and not the Four Seasons.

"Holy…Merry Christmas." A woman around the age of my mom slurs as she stumbles in. She points to Edward. "You're beautiful." At first, I think I'm going to get bitchy and territorial until she looks at me. "You're lucky. He's looking at you like you're the only girl in the world."

She leans her head against the elevator wall and mumbles something unintelligible. "My guy used to look at me like that." She blows a raspberry. "Now he's down in that room screwing that stupid secretary of his. You know he didn't even try to hide it." She leans her head on the wall of the elevator and closes her eyes.

Edward gives me an apologetic grin. "Ma'am, are you going to be okay?" She nods, and her body seems to bob in time with her head. "Why don't we help you to your room."

"You're really nice." Keeping her head connected to the wall she turns and looks at us. "Don't let this one get away." She wipes messy hair out of her face. "My guy was never a gentleman. Never opened the door for me. Would never help some hot mess scorned woman when he wants to impress a girl." She points to Edward. "He's not a gentleman like you."

I look at Edward, and I know we need to help her. He nods. I love that we're on the same page and I can't stop thinking how he opened the car door for me and kept me warm in the cold night walking into the hotel.

Gentleman.

"Night, ma'am," Edward says to our stranger after we helped her get to bed.

"You're really good at this." She narrows her eyes. "Are you a cop or something? You're so nice."

"No," he shakes his head, "but I do work for the city." He looks at me. "And I'm a person who likes to help people."

"Night." She closes her eyes.

Edward motions for me to follow. I look back and see the water bottle and painkillers he left for her and how he had plugged her phone in and set it on the nightstand next to her.

The elevator ride to our floor is quiet, and we keep sneaking glances at one another. Edward is thawing my dead frozen heart. Part of me wants to run from that thought, but a bigger part of me wants his stubble tickling the most intimate parts of my body.

"That was a really decent thing you did for that lady," I say as we head to the room.

" _We_." He stops at the door. "It was both of us."

I nod, and I wonder if our night is over. If we lost that buzz of tequila and impending casual sex.

"Come here." Edward pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head. "Do you want me to take you home?"

I look up at him and wonder how tall he is. Six two-ish, maybe? "Do you want to take me home?"

His wicked sexy grin is back. "What I want to do and should do are two separate things." Oh, how I wish I could read his mind. "The gentleman that lady complimented should take you home, give you a goodnight kiss, and beg you to let me take you out. The side of me I never want my grandma to meet wants to take this tequila…." He crinkles the bag and lips his licks.

Jesus.

"I vote tequila and licking."

He smashes his lips to mine and we stumble into the room.

I love tequila.

 **-Façade-**

 _Holy shit where am I?_ Three things I know. I have a large warm hand holding my boob, I need to pee like a racehorse, and the guy lying next to me is the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. _Edward_.

Not wanting to wake him, I slowly untangle myself and scurry to the bathroom. Once I relieve myself, I look in the mirror and clamp a hand to keep in my scream. I look like an extra on the set of Walking Dead. I scrub the makeup off my face and use my fingers to tame my bed-head. With plenty of fancy smancy, Plaza Hotel toiletries on the counter, I brush my teeth and take a shower.

I wrap a soft robe around me, and I peek in on Edward. He's on his side, holding my pillow, a content smile on his face. Totally zonked. As much as I want to spend the day wrapped around this guy for a few more rounds, I have an appointment about the Forks' House I can't miss. I get dressed, hoping he'll wake before I have to leave. I search the room for something to write on, and there's nothing. The tiny purse I brought to the bar has just my ID, lip-gloss, credit card, and some money. _Jeez_ , there's not even a pen in this room, let alone some paper.

I don't want to snoop in Edward's wallet, but maybe he has a card with his information. The city provides them to their employees, right? What I see makes my heart stop, and my blood run ice-cold.

I run out of the hotel with the memories of the past chasing me.

 **-Façade-**

I look, spy, his latest text. I'm floating somewhere between pissed and enthralled. First, in this world of casual hookups that he bothered to call at all. Second, he tracked me down in record time. Third, he hasn't stopped texting despite my lack of response.

I was ticking things off the list that Dragon Lady left me since I'm the opener in the spa today when I hear her screech.

"You are such a bitch." Even though I expected this, I still bristle. "But just so you know, the only reason Edward wanted you was because he had a bet with his friends that not only would he go for a brunette, but he also had to conceal he was a firefighter." She pops her hip and crosses her arms over her chest. "The guys think his profession gives him an unfair advantage."

Except with me. _A firefighter?_ That feeling the morning after I saw his ID, _gah_ , my gut still tightens.

"I can't believe you got to go home with the hunky firefighter and I was stuck with the marketing dork."

I take a deep breath. "You need to relax. It was a one-night stand." I shrug. "Alec is cute, and you're a _bitch_." I turn from her and go to one of the treatment rooms to calm the hell down.

Deep breaths. I _finally_ find a guy I could really like, and he has to be a freaking firefighter. They always say you fall for the one who's like your dad.

 _I can't._

I let a few angry tears fall, count to fifty backward, and clean myself up. Walking out with my head held high, I ignore Tanya's glare. Well, she's obviously not the one who gave him my number. _Bitch_. I spy Alice outside motioning me to come hither. I gladly mumble that I'm taking my coffee break and sidle out to see Ali.

"Hey, girlie." I wave and force a smile.

Ali pulls me into one of her bone-crushing hugs. "How are you?" She pulls away and searches my face. "Uh oh." She drags me towards our hotel coffee shop. "Come on, I'm buying you coffee, a cheese pastry, and you're telling me all about it."

While we order, Ali keeps side-eying me. Since we met, that first day at Four Season's orientation, we have been tight. We sit, and I start to open my mouth to ask about Jasper, but she beats me to the punch.

"So what the hell is up Tanya's ass?"

"She's pissed because Edward picked me, but I guess it was part of some bet and he's…an asshole." I don't bother telling her about the firefighter thing because she'll just tell me I'm nuts.

"Bella," she starts and pushes the scrumptious cheese pastry my way, "Edward came to Jasper's yesterday."

"So you're the one who gave him my number?"

Ali flattens her normal smile. "Yeah, I uh, meant to text you and tell you, but Jasper distracted me." She turns tomato red.

"Look at your face. Jeez, you look like me." I push on her arm. "Looks like Mr. Blue Eyes has some skills." I lean in and make sure no one around us can hear. "Since you gave out my number, with no warning, the least you can do is give me some juicy deets about your night with Jasper."

"I call him Jazz." She swoons, s _o un-Ali-like,_ andholds up her hands. "And I know, I suck, and I will give you all the dirty details," she smirks, "well most of them, but first I want to talk about Edward."

I roll my eyes and look at the ceiling. That's the last thing I want to discuss. I just want to go back to my safety bubble that no guy penetrates.

"Bella, stop." She pinches my arm as if I'm five. "He's a nice guy, and I really like him." She waves off my frown and eye narrowing. "He doesn't want just a one-night thing with you. You haven't returned his texts, and he's worried you heard through the one-night, sexcapade grapevine how he made a bet with the guys."

This was my out. I cross my arms over my chest, pretending to be pissed about some lame ass bet, and lean back in the chair. "He really likes you." She gives me the I-want-to-do-a-makeover puppy dog eyes on me.

"Yeah, well, he's an ass." I scoff. "Like I would ever take him serious when he met me through a bet."

" _Bella."_

"Ali, no, I'm not hearing it." I make a disgusted sound. "It's not like we're in some cheesy romance movie and I'm going to fall in love with him. It was one night." I pick up my coffee, thankful it's in a to-go cup. "Sorry, but I have to get back, Dragon Lady will be in soon." I give her a wave and smile since I don't want her to think I'm mad at her.

Just as I'm about to turn into the corridor that leads to the spa she calls after me. "I know what you're doing." I hear the delicate taps of her designer shoes. "You like him, and you refuse to let yourself because he's a firefighter." I freeze and keep my back to her. She catches up and slings her arm through mine and starts to escort me to the entrance of the spa. "Bella, I know it scares you because of your dad, but this guy is the real deal, and he's _crazy_ about you."

"He doesn't even know me."

"What he knows he loves." She stops and makes me meet her eyes. "He wants to get to know you." She puts a hand over her heart. "I have a really good feeling about this guy." She gives me a big Ali smile. "And I'm crazy about Jasper and so happy about it, and I want you to be just as happy as me."

"I am happy." I try to pep up my flat voice. "And I'm so happy you found Jasper."

"Bella, just do me a favor and meet us for drinks tonight." Ali stops us in front of the entrance to the spa. "Please." She pouts and puts her hand into a praying position.

I normally can't resist Ali, but I have to protect myself. I won't date a firefighter. _I can't_. I give her a hug, which she misinterprets and she squeals with delight. "Ali, I love you, but I'm sorry." I pull away and look her in the eyes, so she knows I mean it. "I can't. I'm sorry." She starts to open her mouth, but I hold up my hand. "I have to go. We'll catch up later, and you can tell me about Jasper…err Jazz. My love life is obviously dead on arrival, so I'll be able to live vicariously through you."

"Bella!" Dragon Lady beckons me. Normally I hate her serendipitous timing, but today I could seriously give her a high five.

"Coming," I call and give Ali an apologetic grin.

 **-Façade-**

I feel my phone vibrate again in my purse. I don't bother looking at it. It's either Edward trying to engage me, or Ali begging me again to join them. I've been ignoring Edward, and he's not getting the hint. Today he sent me pictures and even a video of him singing Journey in the shower. Granted, I couldn't see anything below his waist, but his PG-Rated parts are almost just as good as the R-Rated ones, and he's so not fighting fair.

Ali, the traitor, I'm sure told him how much I love Journey. And jeez, he can really sing. If that new Journey lead singer doesn't work out, then he might be able to pick up the gig. Then he wouldn't be a firefighter anymore, and then… _No_ don't even go there Bella.

"Bella?" Tanya and the annoyed waitress stare at me like I have three heads.

"What?"

"What do you want to drink?"

"Oh. I'll have a margarita." I'd kill for a beer, but it reminds me of…Stop it, Bella.

"Bella!"

"What?" _Shit_ , I'm really out of it.

Annoyed waitress glares at me. "Blended or on the rocks. Salt or no salt?"

"Rocks and no salt."

She throws me a fake smile. "That'll be right up."

"Yeah, sure it will." Tanya snarls at her retreating figure. "You really pissed her off."

"Whatever." I study Tanya. She's perfectly made up. "Why aren't you going out with Alec? Ali says he really likes you."

She gives me a hard laugh. "Why aren't you out with Edward?"

I stand up a little straighter. "I told you. I don't date firefighters."

"And I don't date players." She takes a sip of her cocktail. When did she order that? "Guys like Alec are all about the one night." I thought that's what Edward was like too. "What?" she barks.

"Nothing." I shake away my thoughts. "It's nothing."

"Here are your drinks." The waitress sets four drinks down in front of us.

"What is all of this?" Tanya glares at her.

"Compliments of the douchy gawking guys at the bar."

"Thank you." Tanya's bitch mood does a three-sixty, and she lifts up her drink thanking them. Of course, she waves them over.

They stroll towards us. Both are blond. The short one with the spikey hair sets his sights on me. _Dude_ , the nineties called, and they want their seventeen gallons of hair gel back.

"Hey boys." Tanya licks her lips and looks at the taller one. "Thanks for the drinks." She holds her hand and lets him kiss it. "I'm Tanya, and this is Bella."

"I'm Connor," he thumbs towards hair-gel boy. "And this is Michael."

"Hi." I give them a little wave.

Michael takes my hand and kisses it. His saliva level is an eleven on a scale of one to ten. "Bella or should I say Beautiful," _kiss_ , "it is a pleasure," _kiss_ , "to meet you," _kiss_. Okay, saliva level just rocketed to a fifteen, and I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

"It's good to meet you, too." _Not_. I wipe my hand on a napkin.

Of course, Tanya invites them to sit with us.

"So," Awesome, saliva-boy is a close talker. " _Beautiful_ , what do you do?"

"I work at the Four Seasons hotel. In the spa."

"Are you still in college?" he asks and studies my face.

"Um, no. I graduated college." I don't like where this is going.

"So is working at the hotel an in-between job until you get a real job?"

It's my turn to study his face. It doesn't seem like he's being an asshat, he seems like he's honestly asking and doesn't realize he's insulting me.

"No, working at the hotel is what I went to college to do." I try to keep my voice even. "Actually, working at the Four Season's is an honor. It's a brand new hotel, and I'm lucky I scored a job at such a great property."

"Huh." He looks curious. "What was your major?"

"Hospitality."

"Interesting." He rubs his forehead, which I see is a little too broad.

A thought comes to me; maybe he's rubbing it because he has an old battle injury. Maybe he opened his big fat saliva mouth insulting some girl who worked her ass off to be in the top ten percent of her major, got a coveted job, then he insulted her, and then she stuck a fork in his forehead.

"Yeah, I graduated in the top ten percent of my class," I don't hide the bite in my voice.

He holds up his hands in surrender. "Hey, don't get offended, I'm sure you're a real ace."

I purse my lips and read his face trying to determine if he's being serious. "What is it you do for a living, _Mike_?"

"It's Michael." He plays with the apple slice in his drink. Has he even taken a sip? "I'm an investment banker for Goldman Sachs."

Yep. He's being serious. "How's _your_ drink, Michael?

"Oh. It's really good." He takes a big sip and does a shitty job at hiding his grimace.

Let's see if Mr. Investment Banker has some balls. "You know I could really go fo—"

"Here you go." Our waitress drops a beer and a shot of tequila in front of me.

"We didn't order this," Michael says slowly like he expects her to have a hard time keeping up.

"No." She glares at him. "And it's not for you." She motions her head towards a table across the way. "The green-eyed hottie with the hair ordered it for brown eyes." She actually gives me a genuine smile and strolls off swaying her hips more than normal.

Mike narrows his eyes at the table that has Ali, Jasper, Kate, Garrett, and a solo Edward. I give them what I hope doesn't look like a totally fake smile and wave.

"Friends of yours?" I look at Michael and mutely nod. "Well, let's not let this go to waste." Before I can stop him, he shoots my tequila, chases it with the beer, drinks half of it, slams the beer down on the table, and glares at Edward.

 _What the hell?_

I look over at Edward and Jasper is pushing him down in his seat and whispering in his ear. I slide the martini in front of Mike and take a big swig of the beer. The orange citrusy flavor washes away the sickly sweet martini flavor. As much as Michael is irritating, Edward holds the number one slot on my shit list.

Edward thinks I'm pissed because of the bet he had with his boys, I could easily forgive him about that, let him make it up to me, preferably with that tongue of his that should be gold plated and put on display at the International Cunnilingus Museum.

 _He's. A. Firefighter._

I suppress the stomach acid from creeping up my throat. I glance at Ali and ask her with my eyes if she kept my secret about who my dad was. She gives me a tiny nod. _Thank God. Phew_. Relief turns to anger. How dare he come here and interfere with my night. _Game on, Edward._

I lean into Michael. "You like tequila?"

"As long as it's good tequila." He nods his head towards the empty shot glass. "That crap your admirer sent over sucks." He holds his hand up and signals our server. "I'll get you some good tequila."

"Awesome." I trail my fingers over his forearm and look at Edward. _Bingo!_ He's staring, no, he's glowering at us.

Michael and I take some shots, and I'll give it to him, it's awesome tequila. Between my leaning and Michael being a close talker our posture screams intimate. I can tell it's pissing Edward off. It's a bitch move on my part, but self protection outweighs any remorse at this point, and my tequila buzz gives me Tanya-like bitch confidence.

"Oh my God!" Tanya, who I've been ignoring most of the night, shrieks.

I look up to a small karaoke stage at the front of the bar and see Edward tapping on the microphone. The noise carries throughout the bar.

"Hey everyone!" Edward waves and a few people murmur hello and wave back at him. "I'm Edward Cullen. I'm a New York City Firefighter at the Wall Street Station Engine #4." He lifts his muscled arm in a show of strength. "We're called the Fighting Bulls." Everyone cheers. "If you'll all indulge me I wanted to do a little ad-hoc karaoke." He looks directly at me. "There's a beautiful lady here tonight who seems to have lost her holiday cheer. As a public servant, I thought I'd sing her a song to get her back into the spirit."

"Oh, my God!" Tanya's head swings to me. "What is so great about you, Bella. I just don't get it." She stands and stomps towards the bathroom.

Mike is mumbling something, but I can't tear my eyes away from Edward. He is busting out a rendition of _All I Want for Christmas is You,_ and not the _Wham_ version, but the Michael Bublé rendition. I've heard all of Bublé's songs. Renee is a huge fan. Edward croons out the final words. His eyes close. _God_ , he's dazzling.

"Bella, come up here and join me for the next one?" He holds his hand out to me. I stand, and I'm drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I make my way to the stage, his eyes locked onto mine, drawing me in. "That's it," he holds his out, "just a few more steps." His voice is careful; as if I'm a scared shelter dog wanting to trust my new family, but so worried they're like the last assholes who dropped me off on death row a few weeks prior.

"Let's hear it for the firefighter hero!" A guy stands up and wolf-whistles. The noise tears my eyes away from Edward. "These guys didn't think twice about running into a burning inferno on 9-11." He throws up a fist. "Never forget!"

I freeze.

Despite the warmth of the tequila buzz, the blood in my veins turns to ice and my eyes lock again with Edward. In those few seconds, I see a future with him. Dates, him being cute and singing to me, a proposal, wedding, and a pregnancy. I see a little girl with my hair and his eyes. She's on the phone talking to him about baking and bringing him cookies to the firehouse. She's in a kitchen, a long phone cord wrapped around her as her daddy says he loves her. That scene in my head shatters, and is replaced by burning and collapsing buildings. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to purge the images.

Edward starts to sing _Baby It's Cold outside_. My shattered heart beats wildly in my chest. Edward's beautiful face blurs with tears. I feel a panic attack coming. I race to the table, grab my purse, and run out of the bar like the devil himself is chasing me.

When I get home, I collapse on my bed. That night I dream of the memory I've tried to suppress for the last sixteen years.

 **-Façade-**

" _Bella, honey, you need to get some sleep." Mom rubbed my hair like she used to do this when I was little._

" _No."_

" _Honey, Jacob is going to call us as soon as they know something." She looked so tired. I knew she wasn't sleeping either._

" _I'm not going to sleep until Daddy comes home and eats the cookies we made for him." I scooched over, so my head was out of her reach. What she was doing felt too good, and my eyes wanted to close._

" _Okay. I'll stay up with you then." Mom yawned, lay down on the couch next to me, and turned on the old movie channel._

 _Eventually, the grandfather clock in the hall chimed, midnight. It was now my birthday, September 13_ _th_ _. I peeked at my Mom. She was sound asleep. Like a quiet church mouse, I picked up Mom's phone and snuck into my room. I dialed Dad's phone, it went right to voicemail._

" _Hi, Daddy. It's Bella, your Kiddo." My throat felt tight and itchy, but I needed to say this so he would come home as soon as he heard it. "It's after midnight now, my birthday. Remember when you asked me what I wanted for my birthday? All I want is you, Daddy." I tried not to, but I started balling. "I made you cookies. Please come home. It's my birthday, and I want all of us together. Please, Daddy." The message gave me a warning it was going to end. "I love you." I blurted out, hung up, and ran to my bed. I grabbed a picture of my dad and me in front of his fire engine. Mom had it blown up so I could carry it down to the fences where all the families where posting pictures of their missing loved ones. The lady on the news let me hold it up and ask if anyone had seen my dad. The fire chief was on the news, too. He said they hoped to find many of their guys alive, said they should have been able to take shelter by their engines and trucks. He promised they were going to work day and night to find them. I finally cried myself to sleep and begged God to bring my daddy home safe to us._

 _I woke up hearing my mom talking to someone. Daddy! I ran out of my room but stopped dead in my tracks at what I saw. There were three men, two in their dress uniforms and the other one was Jacob. He and Seth were the new firefighters at Dad's station. They were talking quietly to Mom and she was sobbing into a cloth handkerchief, the old-fashioned kind Dad used on special occasions. He said they were the kind his grandpa had._

 _Jacob looked up and saw me standing at the edge of the hall. His eyes looked tired, and the red rim stood out against his tan skin. His face crumbled, and at that point, I knew, they were here to tell us he was dead._

" _No, no, no, no!" I started screaming. "My daddy promised me he was coming home. It's my birthday. No!" I stomped to the kitchen and got the plate of cookies. "These are for my dad. He's coming home." I pointed to the chief. "You told the news lady. You said they were just trapped...that you'd find them. You would work day and night until you found them. You promised."_

" _Oh, Bella." My mom tried to hug me._

" _No." I put up my hand to stop her. "He promised me. He's coming home. I'm taking these cookies and waiting in my room." I gave all of them what my mom called a death glare. "You're all wrong."_

 _My dad never came home._

 _After that day, I never again celebrated my birthday or Christmas, my dad's favorite holiday. The site of cookies made me nauseous, and I avoided all of it and any memories of my dad and that fateful day like the plague._

 **-Façade-**

"Hello, I'm checking in." An attractive woman comes to the counter.

"Hello, name?"

"Esme Platt."

I scan the list. This close to the holiday we're really slow, so she's easy to find. "Here you are. I see you have a Swedish massage and a lavender bath and scrub. Let me get your shoes and robe. What size?"

"Eight, please."

I get her shoes, and she informs me she has been to the spa before and doesn't need a tour. I ask her to wait in the quiet room and Evelyn will be with her shortly. Something about her seems familiar, but I can't put my finger on why.

I sit at the quiet front desk and work on my year-end review. I hate these things. _Worst_ part of my job, but I need something to do to keep my mind off a certain firefighter and that shit-show from the other night.

Surprisingly, I make good progress on this stupid self-assessment thing. My stomach grumbles, reminding me it was almost my lunch hour. One thing about working at the Four Seasons, the food is amazing and we get free food during our shifts. I go back to editing my self-assessment when Mrs. Platt's words get my attention.

"Hello, dear." She puts her shoes on the counter. "I have a small request."

"Sure, Mrs. Platt. And you can call me Bella." I move my hair, so my nametag is visible. I usually wear my hair up, it's more professional, but with the light workload around the holidays I kept it down today."

"Bella," she smiles, "what a lovely name."

"Thank you."

"And please, call me Esme."

That name. Something about it bounces around my head with familiarity. Where did I know it?

"What can I do for you, Esme?"

"Well, I actually needed to update my name." Rubbing her forehead, she suddenly looks nervous. "Platt is actually my maiden name…"

I poise my hands over my keyboard. "Sure, let me just pull up your reservation, so I can get to your account." I find it, look up at her, and smile. "Okay, ready."

She purses her lips and searches my face. "My last name is Cullen."

I bristle. "Cullen?" My voice shakes.

"Yes, Bella." She rubs her chest and holds an antique looking locket. "I'm Edward's mother." She reaches out to touch my hand, but I pull it back like she's made of hot lava and will burn me. I swallow past an angry lump in my throat.

I'm at _work._ This is the last place I want to be dealing with this. "I don't mean to ambush you, but please, can we talk?" She puts her hand over her heart. "I promise just a few minutes of your time, and I will be out of your hair."

I look down at my stupid, year-end review, and I curse Edward Cullen.

"I'm taking lunch in ten minutes." I bite back angry tears. "Ten minutes of my time and I'm calling it. I'm starving, and I need to eat."

She reaches out, and this time I stupidly let her hold my hand. "Please, the least I can do is buy you lunch? I'll go order, and you can meet me in the cafe. What would you like?"

"The Chinese chicken salad and green ginger tea, please."

Esme waves me down when I enter the hotel café. Normally, I eat in the employee cafeteria, the food is all from the same kitchen and just as just as good at any of the hotel restaurants.

"Thank you so much for joining me." She smiles and gestures to the food waiting for me. I wonder whom she bribed to get our food delivered so fast. It doesn't escape me she ordered the same as me.

Her designer clothes also catch my attention, the account at the Ritz, and Edward's words about how his parents aren't rich, but his family enjoys the nicer things in life.

"This looks lovely, nice choice." She digs into the salad.

"The food here is all really good." I focus on feeding my stomach, I don't need the demure Esme Cullen hearing it grumble.

"Did Edward tell you how he came to be adopted by myself and my husband, Carlisle?"

I shake my head, wondering if she knows I only had a one-night stand with him.

"I met Edward on 9-11." I freeze, and our gazes lock. I suck in a breath and hold it as my heart thumps so strong I can feel it in my head. "That day Edward saved my life." She wipes a tear from her eye. "He tells it differently; that I saved him, but he's always been so selfless."

She gestures for me to eat and continues. "I was working for a large design firm, and we had an office on the twenty-eighth floor of the South Tower." My throat tightens, and I try to keep the tears at bay. "I was in the building when we were hit. It was so chaotic. They were telling us not to evacuate, but Carlisle called me frantic from the hospital and told me to get out of there as fast as possible and not to look back." She holds the locket around her neck. "I was the only one from my firm that got out with my life. My boss insisted that we all stay. The building leasing office said everything would be fine. The fire was in the upper floors, and we weren't in danger."

She wipes a tear. "I begged my co-workers to come, but our boss, Caisus was a real hardass, and they were all too scared for their jobs. If it wasn't for Carlisle telling me he was going to come down there and carry me out of the building, I probably wouldn't have left either."

"On my way out, I remember seeing a firefighter. He was so young." She swallows, and her face seems to whiten.

"With Carlisle's words in my head and seeing the chaos outside, I told him that he needed to turn around and it wasn't safe." I see her hand start to tremor and I hold it. He looked me right in the eye, and he said, 'Ma'am, it's my job. I took an oath. This is what I do. I'm not leaving my guys and my captain.' With a squeeze of my hand, he jogged into the building."

I wipe a few of my own tears.

"I had this horrible feeling in my gut and tried to call up to my office to beg my co-workers to leave. By that point, all the circuits were busy, and I couldn't get through." She grips her napkin. "I got about a block away, and the thing that really got to me was the noise—the twisting and creaking of the metal giving way under pressure." She pauses like she's remembering and I'm right there with her. "For a second, everyone looked back at the building and froze before we ran for our lives. The noise, panic, and screams became too much, and I made the mistake of looking back. When I did, I tripped."

With the tears in my eyes, her beautiful face starts to swim.

"The next thing I know this boy helps me up. He was the most beautiful child I'd ever seen; deep green eyes, tousled hair, a unique color, and a smattering of freckles that gave him a faux look of innocence. He wore his hardened lifestyle like a dented and tarnished badge of honor, and I knew the second we locked gazes his young life up to that point was not an easy one."

"Edward."

She nods. "Yes, Edward, my guardian angel."

He helped me limp along; I'd hurt my ankle and my wrist. I told him about my husband, Carlisle being a doctor and we had to get to the hospital."

I can tell the memories are getting to her and the more she talks, the more I feel weighted down like I'm wearing a wet wool sweater.

"Just a few blocks from the hospital we were confronted by some boys who Edward knew. Being in the foster system, he didn't hang around the best crowd. These boys congratulated him on getting such a good catch."

Her words confuse me, she notices and clarifies.

"They were planning on robbing me and leaving me wounded right there, and Edward stood up to them." Her hand shakes in mine. "He was such a skinny thing back then, but so tough. He fought them off and ended up with a stab wound."

"Jesus." The scene she paints wears on my heart.

"You should have seen the two of us limping and leaning on each other as we hobbled into that hospital." A nervous chuckle escapes her lips. "My cool calm and collected husband had a fit when he saw us." She shakes her head, remembering. "I refused to let him treat me until he made sure Edward was okay." The most serene smile graces her face. "That was the best day of my life, the day I became a mother."

Esme pulls her hands back to her lap, and she looks as tired as I feel. Memories will do that to you. One minute you're cruising through your day and the next you're dredging up emotional baggage. It's crazy how I can forget thousands of moments that almost add up to a lifetime and then there are a few key memories I replay over and over.

That day, 9-11.

The day my world stopped spinning, never to be the same. I can remember it so well. As much as I feel ambushed by Esme today, I'm rapt by her and Edward's story.

"There's actually more to the story, but I know you need to get back." She gives me a thwarted smile. "Do you think we could meet for lunch or dinner tomorrow? Whichever one works for you. You could come to our apartment?"

Yes, I want to hear what she has to say, but the chance of running into Edward... "Why don't you come by my place? For lunch?" For my mental health, I could use the home-field advantage.

"Okay?" She studies my face. "But I'm bringing the food?"

"Okay." I have zero food in our apartment, and the last thing I want to do is go out to shop. This close to the holiday all the stores are sure to be mobbed.

 **-Façade-**

One more hour left on my shift. I'm exhausted. Ever since Edward's little holiday serenade I haven't been sleeping well. And it doesn't help that he keeps texting me. For my sanity, I finally blocked him. Unfortunately, my brain isn't cooperating, and I'm still thinking about him.

Two minutes before I can lock the front door to the spa and start clean up procedures, Jacob Black sidles in. His six foot seven frame and navy blue FDNY uniform is an imposing presence in our entryway.

"Jacob, hi." I give him an awkward wave.

"Hey, Bells." I cringe at the nickname as he pulls me into a hug.

"Hey." I pull away and rub my forehead. I hold up a finger. "Give me one sec, I need to lock up." First Esme and now Jacob, I'm not risking any more surprise visitors.

"How are you? Your mom tells me you're doing really well." Jacob looks around at the luxurious spa. "This place is amazing."

"Thanks." His words leave me a little off-kilter. It's like he's channeling my dad in that uniform telling me he's proud of me. I shake off those thoughts. "You should buy Leah a spa day for Christmas. I'm sure she could use some pampering."

He rubs his chin. "You know that's not a bad idea. I usually get her jewelry, but she told me she has enough and to be a little more creative this year."

"I'm a bit biased, but a spa day would be a great gift."

"Sold." He throws some money on the counter. "What can I do with that?"

I pick up the money. "How about a gift card? I'll put in some complimentary samples of our spa products and wrap it up elegantly for you."

"That'd be great, Bells."

I ignore the nickname and wrap up the gift card and samples, so it looks beautiful. I'm deep into my groove tying some bows with the satin, lavender colored, scented ribbon when he starts in.

"You know, Christmas Eve night we're having a big potluck at the firehouse." He clears his throat. "I know your mom and Phil are in Florida for the holiday, but it'd be great if you could join us. Everyone would love to see you."

I feel a stab of guilt in my gut. I haven't been to the firehouse since my dad… "Yeah, I'm the newbie here, so I have to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day." I don't mention that I volunteered. I'm off after that through New Years. I'm going to Forks to meet the contractor who's going to build a new downstairs master bedroom and bath.

"Sure, sure." Out of my periphery, I see him nod. "Maybe next year."

"Maybe." I give him a big smile to mask my lie. "Here you go." I present the beautifully wrapped basket that contains two samples of every spa product we have and the gift card.

His eyes widen. "That's awesome. Leah is going to love this. Thank you so much!"

"You're very welcome."

"Well, I better get out of your hair so you can close." He taps the counter. "Don't be a stranger, Bells, everyone misses you and would love to see you."

I highly doubt his words. Most of the guys who knew my dad either died with him or have retired. I doubt the new guys would even care. My thoughts go immediately to Edward, and a spike of panic runs through me. Could he and Jacob know each other? No, that's impossible; there are hundreds of firehouses, what are the odds that he works at Charlie's old station.

"Okay. I'll try to come by soon." I go with a convincing smile. I hate to rely on drinking, but this week has been a doozie. I could use a tequila shot or seven.

He holds up the gift. "Thanks again. See you soon."

I walk him to the door and give him a hug. "Bye, Jacob," I whisper.

"You take care, Bells."

He kisses the top of my head. _Just like Charlie used to_. He leaves without a look back. I wonder if I'll ever get over the guilt of blowing him off.

"What is it with you and hot fireman," Tanya whines as I walk back to the counter. "I don't get it."

"You can have them, I do—"

"I know," she throws up her hand in a stopping motion and gives me a snarl, "you don't like firefighters." She stomps off towards the back to close out her procedures.

This day cannot end soon enough.

 **-Façade-**

I set the formal dining room table in Renee and Phil's East Side apartment. They're only here part of the year and let me live here rent-free. I hate to be a freeloader, but I need my money for the Forks' house. I gave the doorman Esme's name so she wouldn't have to be announced, hence the knock at the door.

"Hello, Esme." She looks as if she just stepped out of Ali's office, ready for a socialite event, not some lunch with me. I dressed in something a lot more comfy, but I have a feeling I need to be me for this conversation. So my favorite jeans, a soft cashmere sweater, and my favorite leather boots will have to do.

"Hello, Bella." Esme pulls me into a hug.

She smells good, and something about her touch and presence screams warmth. I can tell in the just the little amount of time I've spent with her that she's a good mom. Edward is lucky.

"I brought a peace offering." She holds up a big bag from The Chelsea Market.

"Yum." I gesture her inside. "Come in, I have the table set."

"You have a lovely home." She starts unwrapping the food. Cranberry, goat cheese, and turkey sandwiches, an assortment of salads, and various cookies.

"Thank you, but it's not mine." We both sit. "It's my mother and stepdad, Phil's place." I didn't want her to think I have money. "They always spend the holidays in Florida."

"Will you be alone for Christmas?" Esme's concern is palatable as she fixes our plates.

"It's not a big deal, I have to work." She smiles at me through her concern. "This looks lovely. Thank you so much for bringing the food." I bite into the sandwich. _Yum._ "I love The Chelsea Market."

We make small talk and eat our food. I'm glad Esme lets us get through lunch before we start with the tough stuff.

"I hope I'm not making this awkward for you." She rubs her worried forehead. "I just wanted you to understand the full story before you judge Edward."

"Renee, my mom, always says that things are only awkward if you make them that way."

"She sounds like a smart woman." Esme gives me a wink. "Like mother, like daughter."

"Thanks." I flush at her words. I don't really know Esme, Edward, or their family, but for some reason, I don't want them to think badly of me.

"Let me clean this up. I'll make some coffee to go with these yummy cookies."

"I'll help."

"Thanks."

Esme and I work in compatible silence as the pending conversation looms over us. We settle on Renee's designer couch in the formal living room sipping coffee and eating some of the best cookies in New York.

"I guess I should start where we left off the other day." I nod for her to continue. "That day both Edward and I needed surgery. Me for my wrist," Esme looks down at her left wrist and rubs a faded scare, "and Edward for some internal bleeding from being stabbed." Her eyes water as she relives the memories. "Thank God he was okay. I'd just found him, I didn't want to lose him."

"It was ominous being at the hospital. Carlisle and the rest of the staff were poised ready to treat hundreds of people." I wring my hands together at the image she paints. "The next day, the two of us were placed in a room together, and as much as I tried to turn off the television so he could rest he wouldn't let me." She clasps my hand. "That night, on the twelfth, a little girl with a plate of cookies came on the television asking if anyone had seen her dad, a fire captain."

I put my head in my hands and sob. Esme holds me. Normally, I hate crying in front of other people, but her holding me felt right. After a while, my tears dry, I pull away, and rub the makeup away from my eyes.

"Bella, Edward was totally rapt with you. He insisted I follow up with the department." She squeezes my hand. "He wrote you some letters and bought you a gift." She chuckles. "He borrowed money from me. Insisting he would pay me back. I would have gladly given him the money, but he did work for the neighbors and paid me back. Two months later, Edward made us a complete family and become our son. A month later, his foster brother Emmett, joined us too, and the rest is history."

Esme eyes me, but my face is a mask. However, my insides are like a category 5 hurricane. "Edward told me he didn't realize who you were until he talked to your friend Alice." A soft smile graces her beautiful face. "He never would tell me what gift he got for you. Do you remember his letters, gift?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm sorry, that was a long time ago. I don't remember."

"Bella, if you can find it in your heart to forgive Edward."

"I have no hard feelings towards your son."

"How wonderful. Then I must have you two over for dinner." She looks as excited as Ali when I agree to a makeover.

Uh no. "Esme, I don't have any hard feelings towards Edward, but right now my life is crazy busy, and I don't have time for a relationship or dinners. As soon as I can get some experience at the hotel, I plan on transferring to the West Coast and working at a property there."

She wrings her hands together. "Oh, of course, dear. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to presume."

I wave her off. "It's not a problem. Just please tell Edward I have no hard feelings, and to stay safe on the job."

"Yes, I will." She gives me a watery smile.

"Well, I don't mean to be rude, but I have a lot of things to get done. I'm working the holiday so I can have the week after Christmas off, and I need to get some things done to prepare for my trip." I really just needed to collapse and hide from the world.

"Of course." She stands and follows me to the door where I gather her designer purse and jacket.

"Thank you again for lunch, and thank you for telling me your story." I plaster a fake smile on my face. I give her a loose hug. "Merry Christmas to you and your family."

"Merry Christmas, Bella." She gives my hand one last squeeze. "And I'm sorry about your father."

I rub my forehead feeling a migraine coming on. Shit, I haven't had one in so long. "I am, too." With a final goodbye, I shut the door, stumble to my room, and curl into a ball on my bed. I cry myself into a restless sleepy oblivion.

 **-Façade-**

Work is quiet. Duh, Bella, it's Christmas Eve, everyone has plans. Our last appointment was at 1:30. The two people working in the treatment rooms have gone home. Technically, we are open until three, but no one is around.

I think about the Forks' house and my plans. Dad would have loved what I'm doing. He used to say, _'The Forks' house is where your mom and I are going to retire. You'll visit us with our grandkids, Kiddo.'_

"Bella," Victoria came through the door decked out in a festive red dress.

"Oh, hey Victoria, what are you doing here?"

"I'm on my way to my parent's house, and I stopped by for a gift I left here." She turns and locks the spa door. "I'm calling it. I've checked, and we don't have any clients for the rest of the day." She flashes her perfect smile. "You can leave early."

"That's great. Thanks!" Cue the fake enthusiasm.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas."

Her kitten heals click towards the door, she turns around after she opens it. "Oh, and I just got word, the group we had tomorrow canceled. They decided to go snow skiing instead of a spa day. The hotel management said we could close the spa, so you're off tomorrow!"

"Awesome." I have a whole day to myself.

 **-Façade-**

It's only four pm; I'm home, and already bored. I talked to Renee this morning, and they were going to the neighbors, and I don't want to bother her. Ali is in Connecticut with her family. At this point, I even miss Renee's asshole cat that hates me. For the first time since we lost my dad, I actually wish I was celebrating Christmas.

I walk past the guest room a few times. I know Renee keeps the 9-11 stuff in that closet. I open the door and rifle through the boxes. In the second one, I come across a Tiffany box. The classic white ribbon has some yellowing, but overall it looks untouched. It's taped to a card that has writing, which somehow looks elegant and juvenile at the same time. To: Isabella Swan, From: Edward Masen. _Could it be?_ He was adopted by the Cullens but not until a few months later…

I open the homemade card:

 _Dear Isabella,_

 _I'm sorry about your dad. Hopefully, he will be found. The whole country is thinking about you and is with you, your family, the other firefighters, cops, victims, and their families. My mom used to wear something similar to this necklace. My dad and I gave it to her and told her she had our hearts. Please accept this gift and know that everyone is with you. You have all of our hearts. You have my heart._

 _All the Best,_

 _Edward Masen, age 13_

I open the iconic Tiffany blue box. There's a simple silver chain with an oblong shaped heart. It's simple, delicate, and perfect. I can't believe all of these years this gift, the letter, and all of the rest of the things people sent sat here. I once got mad at Renee for saving it all. She calmly told me that one day I would be ready, so she was keeping them. Renee rarely put her foot down, so I didn't argue, but at the time, it still upset me.

I need to find Edward.

 _Jacob_. He was working at the station tonight. He would know how to find Edward. I had to get there. Crap, I couldn't come empty-handed. It was still early enough, and if I hurried, I could make cookies and get to the firehouse in time for the potluck.

 **-Façade-**

Less than a block from the firehouse, I spy Jacob taking out the trash. He squints his eyes. "Bella?"

"Hey, Jacob." I give him a lame wave. I feel like I'm going to throw up. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "I brought you and the guys some cookies."

He hugs me. "I'm so glad you're here." He pulls away, holds my shoulders, and looks at me. "Let me throw the rest of this trash away, and we'll go inside. Most people won't be here for another a half-hour, but the guys will be thrilled to see you." Right before we walk through the familiar door, he turns to me. "Bella, are you ready for this?"

"Yeah, I think I am."

"Welcome home, Bells."

We walk directly into what used to be the command office. Now it's a tribute to all of the guys from this station we lost that day. There were nine. They lost an engine and a ladder truck. With Jacob's eyes on me, I study each display. There are nine, paneled light boxes each filled with photos, mementos, and a memorial plaque.

When I get to my dad's my throat gets tight. There are pictures of him and the guys, pictures of him and me, him and my mom, and the three of us.

"Every time I work the first thing I do is walk in here and thank all of these guys. I know it's said a lot, but I mean it Bells, I. Will. Never. Forget."

I smile at Jacob. "Neither will I." Jacob holds his arm out to me. I take comfort in a side hug from him. "Thanks for showing me this."

"Thanks for coming down." He pulls away and motions to some stairs that lead down to the trucks and the area that used to hold the sleeping quarters. "Let me introduce you to the guys. They're going to be thrilled you're here."

I'm sure they won't care. I hope me coming doesn't make it awkward, but Jacob reminds me Leah and his boys will be here soon. I'll be happy to know someone. I'm thinking of how I can ask him about Edward when the guys come into view.

"Guys, this is Bella, she's a legacy. Captain Swan's daughter." This is Quill, Sam, and Edward." He motions to the empty spot where the ladder truck and paramedic rig regularly go. "The other guys will be back after their call."

"Bella…" Edward whispers.

Jacob gives him a funny look. Then he looks between Edward and me. "Wait, you guys know each other."

Edward gives me a sheepish look and rubs his eyebrow with his thumb. "Yeah, we do." I nod and give him a smile. Which he doesn't return.

 _Shit._

"We're here!" Leah, Jacob's kids, and some other family members trail in, along with Esme, and who I assume is Edward's dad, Carlisle, his brother Emmett and a pregnant woman who looks to be attached to Emmett. Edward goes to greet them. The pregnant blonde gives me a frosty smile.

 _Ouch_.

At least Esme is warm and introduces me to Carlisle.

"Bella, I'm so happy to meet you." His face falls. "I'm so very sorry about your father."

It's a Christmas miracle, but I don't cry. Something about being back here and honoring these amazing heroes makes me feel as if Charlie's with me.

"Thank you, I appreciate that." I cover my heart.

"Bella, will you show us your dad's memorial section in the memory room?" Esme spies everyone in the buffet line and looks between Carlisle and me. "It will give us something to do until the line shortens."

"Sure." I see Edward messing around with Jake's sons and gesture for the Cullens to follow me. I show them the pictures. Jacob gave me the key so I can open up the shadow box to get a better look. Of course, I know everything inside, but it's the first time I've seen it all here in the memory room. I don't tell Carlisle and Esme what it is, but I tell them I have something to add to the box with the other items. I take the letter Edward gave me and put it in the box along with my favorite picture of Charlie and me. I'm shutting and locking the display as Esme announces, "We need to eat, let's go Carlisle."

" _O_ -kay." They rush off. Jeez, where's the fire? I laugh at my lame joke. "Oh!" As I'm turning to follow, I almost slam into Edward who's holding two plates of food.

"I made you a plate." He sets them on a bookshelf across from the memorial boxes. "A few of the popular items were going fast. I didn't want you to miss out."

He holds up one of my cookies, stalks towards me, and pushes me until my back hits something solid. Scents of leather, soap, cookies, and something uniquely familiar only to him swirls around us.

"Taste." He holds up a piece of the cookie I brought and puts it in my mouth.

"Delicious."

He kisses me. "I've already had a serving, and I'm addicted. I need more." I love the double innuendo. "It's soft, warm, and the most amazing thing I've ever tasted." He puts another piece in my mouth. "I could eat these cookies every day for the rest of my life."

"Is that so?"

"Mmmhmm."

He clasps my arms above my head and assaults my lips. Let me tell you ladies, you want to be assaulted by Edward Cullen. The cookie taste, swirled with his warmth, makes me throb with want, and all I want to do is drag him to the sleeping quarters, strip him naked, and eat cookie bits off every part of his body. Specifically his abs. Hearing the ruckus of the kids in the other room, he smiles and winds down the kiss, with the last peck of his soft lips he pulls away.

His eyes are hooded, and the green is inky with lust. Damn if he keeps looking at me like that…his eyes widen and he takes a step back.

"What's wrong?" He inclines his head, and I turn around to see my dad's official fire department picture staring back at us. "I don't know if he'd approve."

"I disagree." I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around his neck. "I think he would totally approve."

Edward smiles and goes in for another kiss, but his eyes widen, and he fingers the necklace around my neck. "You got the gift, but Esm—."

"I opened it today." He flinches, and a line between his eyes appears. "I never looked at or dealt with any of the stuff I received, it all hurt too much…well, until today." I finger the necklace. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

His cheeks redden. "It looks good on you."

"I'll wear it every day." I stand on my tiptoes and put my lips right next to his so we share cookie-flavored breaths. "For the rest of my life."

"So soft." His fingers dance in the expanse of skin between my sweater and jeans. He clears his throat and looks into my eyes. "I'm so damn glad you're here."

"Me too." I give him a little peck. "There's no place I'd rather be." I rub my hands through his soft hair. I've dreamt of touching it since I spent that night with him. As he purrs like a content kitten, an idea floats through my head. "Do you have plans the next week?"

"It's my four days off, and since I work Christmas Eve and day, I'm off until the third." Most guys do that. The younger guys work Christmas so the dads can be at home, and in return, the young studs like Edward get New Years off.

"How would you like to go somewhere with me?"

"I'd go anywhere with you."

"I have someplace I want to show you." It took about two seconds to fall for Edward in that hotel bar. When I found out he was a firefighter, it was like a kid learning there was no Santa Claus. Now I realize that being a firefighter is one of the best things about him.

"Why are you smiling like that?" I ask.

"Because it's a Christmas miracle." He plays with one of my curls.

"What is?" I bite my lip. That look he gives me. _Gah._ I'm so going to attack him first chance I get.

"That you," his arms wrap around me and he pulls me closer to his perfect physique. I whimper, and he smiles, "are spending this day with me." His finger runs down my cheek. "Merry Christmas, Bella"

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

* * *

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